Doing the Tim Tam Slam

What do you get when a couple of full-grown adults start acting like 5 year olds? A lot of silliness, fun and a huge sugar rush, that’s what.

Last Sunday was one of those warm and still afternoons shrouded in a heavy blanket of quietness and tranquility. I was “innocently” snacking on some Arnott’s Tim Tams in the kitchen. But within minutes, everything had dissolved, literally, into a hilarious, messy but glorious jumble of belly-aching laughter and a lot of chocolate goo!

My love affair with chocolate Tim Tam’s began over 20 years ago, and throughout this time, none of the ardor has waned. In that time, I’ve tasted cookies or bickkies (as the Aussies would say) that were elegant, delicious, refined… works of art even. But I can never resist an Arnott’s Tim Tam. This surely must be one of Australia’s most endearing food symbols.

There is just something totally knee-weakening about those two slices of smooth, crunchy, crispy chocolate biscuits, sandwiching a layer of sweet, rich chocolate cream and all completely covered with a layer of rippled milk or dark chocolate (I personally prefer the latter).

I remember 20 years ago, when Tim Tams were still not available in South East Asia, each time a relative or friend traveled from Australia, there would be pleas all round for some Tim Tams to be brought back. And huge cardboard boxes (those used by farmers to pack apples for export) of these biscuits would be brought back (no doubt to the intense amusement of customs officers) and distributed, with each family rationed to maybe only a couple of packs of these divine indulgences. Each piece of Tim Tam was slowly savored and enjoyed… for who knew when our next “shipment” would arrive.

Now, of course, Tim Tams are readily available in all supermarkets, but they have lost none of their charm and appeal. I hear that there are now recently-launched alcohol-flavored Tim Tams. They’ve yet to hit our shores, but… hmmm… not sure I would like my Tim Tam “adulterated” like that… then again, I might just fall in love all over again.

Back to the slam… What is it? Until last Sunday, I’ve never actually done the Tim Tam Slam. (Yes, I was a 'Slam Virgin', I have to admit). I had only heard about it from my brother a long time ago, and the information was filed away into one of the dusty corners of my mind under the “interesting but not immediately useful” folder.

And so there we were, happily munching through a stack of Tim Tams, when I had one of those blinding flashes of genius (ahem!)… let’s try the Tim Tam Slam (sometimes also known as the Tim Tam Explosion or Shotgunning a Tim Tam). Is this sounding violent enough for you?

Okay, okay, there really isn’t any violence involved. Trust me. At least not of the type that will get you arrested.

A piece of Tim Tam is taken, and two tiny bites are taken out of two diagonally opposite corners of the biscuit. The key to Slam success is to take as small a bite as possible. Difficult I know when it comes to biting into a Tim Tam, but believe me, you will be glad you did. Then again, you may like the result of NOT taking small bites out of the Tim Tam. How much risk can you take? Do you like living dangerously?

Now, this is where the fun and the “violence” come in…

Dunk (gently, please…) one of the bitten-off corners into your favorite beverage - coffee, latte, cappuccino, rich chocolate, Milo or just good wholesome milk (hey, why not?) - and, with the other bitten-off corner in your mouth, suck… hard. As if using the Tim Tam as a straw to draw the liquid into your mouth. As soon as you feel the beverage touching your tongue, give a final suck, and “slam” the whole biscuit into your mouth. Now, stop… breathe deep… and savor… all that intense, rich, sweet, gooey, chocolatey goodness assaulting every single taste bud on your tongue. Don’t worry about the copious goop dripping from the corners of your mouth, rolling down your chin, dribbling onto your shirt and coating your fingers. This is NOT meant to be dignified, elegant, dainty or clean.

Of course, practice makes perfect. After a while, you will (hopefully) be able to get the whole saturated biscuit into your mouth before it disintegrates. Hey, what better excuse to finish that entire pack of Tim Tams… just so you can get it juuuusst right. And as an added bonus, at the end of it all, you get to drink that cup of beverage "enriched" with oh about a dozen or so Tim Tam-worth of chocolate. For beginners or ‘Slam Virgins’, I suggest you start with a cold beverage… iced chocolate, iced milo, iced latte, whatever… (I love Tim Tams with icy cold soy milk). It helps you stay in control a little more. Of course, once you are a seasoned ‘slammer’, by all means, go for the real thing… hot chocolate, hot coffee… Now, that is a real slam!

Should there ever be occasion when your body’s sugar level is found “lacking”, try this*… melt a bar of Toblerone chocolate (broken into chunks) in some milk, over a low flame. Once dissolved, pour into a mug and top with some marshmallows. And then… do the Tim Tam Slam. This will surely redefine the term “a sugar high”!

* [taken from here]

Sometimes, we just want to let the child in us out for a while... be messy… laugh until our belly hurts… roar with laughter until we are near collapsing on the floor… and feel the glorious sensation of a chocolatey glob crawling down our chin like some scene out of a C-grade horror movie.

Life is good!

Copyright © 2004 Renee Kho. All rights reserved.
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